Biphobia, just like homophobia, transphobia, intersexphobia, xenophobia and all the other phobias, has many different consequences and all horrible. One of them is that the people that become objects for these phobias acquire a tendency to describe and identify themselves in a normative way and, directly or indirectly, to be part of the creation of negative prejudices against some non-normative behaviours. In order to defend themselves from the attacks, they end up becoming themselves the oppressors and attackers of other people that apparently live (even) less acceptably.
Every time I meet bisexual people or read texts written by bisexuals about bisexuality, I feel the same horror and the same tiredness. The same thing always pops up: we are not confused, we are not undecided, we are not heteros playing, we are not homos in the closet, we are not promiscuous, we are not sex addicts, we are not sexually interested in everyone, we don't need to have several relationships at the same time, we are not disease carriers, we are not unable to have stable relationships or love only one person or have deep feelings or create a family... In one sentence: we are normal. The only thing that makes us different is that we are bisexual. And bisexuality, therefore, is a valid identity.
For all those bisexuals using that much energy in creating information and reminding us all that we bisexuals are normal, people like me are their nightmare. And that is exactly why people like me feel the rejection not only from the heterosexist society and the cishomonormative scene, but also the rejection from a great number of bisexuals that see in us bad exponents and even worse examples of what it means to be bisexual. They see in us those people they know also exist but they want to hide away because we tarnish the beautiful facade of normality and represent everything that apparently is OK to be against. Because of course, to be unfaithful, to be promiscuous, to feel confusion, to have a disease, to be unstable, to be hypersexual... all this is something you can and you have to have a phobia against.
My sexuality is fluid. My identity is also fluid. My label is almost never bisexual, even if I am not heterosexual or homosexual. I like sex and I can't see anything bad in practising it as much as I like, however I like and with as many people I like, together or separately. Mixing genders and sexual orientations as much as I care. Not every one of my relationships is stable nor do I want them to be. I don't have monogamous relationships. I can't see why if I were HIV positive I should be excusing myself for it or feeling any shame or guilt because of it or associating or disassociating it from my behaviour or identity. I don't have to justify myself in front of anybody if today I like women more, tomorrow genderqueer people, the day after tomorrow hypermasculine men or if yesterday I didn't felt attracted to anyone but wanted to have sex with everyone and the day before yesterday I was in love with three people but didn't want to have sex with any of them. I don't have to identify myself as anything just to please this world full of static labels. And I even less have to keep a label that I have used in a moment of my life just to make people understand that I am not in the closet as homo, as hetero, as bi, as trans, as intersex or as whatever. And above all I don't have to behave as the majority under a certain label I am using believe to be the right way. I don't want a family in the way society understands families. I'm not going to divide my relationships between friends and lovers and deny the possibility of feeling the same kind of love for everyone, or deny the possibility of having sex with my supposed friends and not having sex with my supposed lovers. I don't want to see sex as an act that only has to do with genital contact and orgasms, and even less with sticking things in holes. I like kinky sex and my sexuality includes many non-normative aspects. I am neither a model to follow in anything nor do I want to be. I represent without shame many aspects that people feel are shameful. But that is not my problem, that's theirs.I am not normal and even less am I going to be. If that covers the facade of normality that many bisexuals try to show with filth, even better. Because the thing we should be fighting for is that we ALL have the same right to be the way we are, to be diverse, as we want and exactly all those things that society rejects.
